I'll Forever Be Chasing After You, Jesus!

I don't have much to say at this point, people....

I leave France for good in two weeks and God is teaching lessons up until the bitter end. One thing that is overwhelmingly clear to me at this point in life: I'm so so so wretched. Like for real. It's disgusting. I can't be consistent in anything, I'm constantly changing my mind about things, I know I'm not where God is calling me to be yet, and I'm still struggling with some of the same things that I've been struggling with for the longest time. By all human standards, I am a failure. I am a wretch. I totally agree with the Apostle Paul in Romans 7:24, "What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body of death?" However, the longer I live the more I come to value the of the grace and mercy that God extends to us each and everyday. It is BEYOND COMPARE....there's no use in us trying to appraise it. If I were in God's position, I know I would have given up on me a long time ago and just completely let myself die somewhere. But He continues to beckon me unto Himself as verse 25 goes on to say, "Thanks be to God--through Jesus Christ our Lord!"

I'm supposed to be surprising my brother this week for his graduation by coming home and I do have my ticket to be on the plane. The problem comes with me getting to the airport on time. There is a real possibility that I won't make it. And I've been hoping and praying and slightly worrying about it. But what I've just had to resolve myself to is that no matter what happens, God is still in control and whatever happens, it's all in his hands. I don't deserve favor! I don't deserve for God to do anything out of the ordinary for me! Who am I but I mere mortal?? But I'm glad that when God looks at me, He sees so much more than that! He sees what I shall be...He sees the glory that He shall get out of my life once I get it together! And for that alone, I should be motivated enough to continue to chase after Him. To desire Him more and more each day! To know Him in a very real way.

So, as has been the recurring theme in most of my blogs, I will continue to strive towards the prize. I will fall and falter sometimes but I owe it to God to keep pressing on. Something me and my Daddy tell my brother when he has one of those selfish moments is "You may not care about me or yourself. But at least do better for your mother because she supports you through everything and loves you just the same." So, now I find myself swallowing hard my words but it's not to do better for my mother. She loves me and wants me to evolve into what God desires for me to be but when it's all said and done, that's not enough. I should want to do better simply because GOD has always been there for me and has loved me with AN EVERLASTING LOVE through my whole life. And He deserves so much more. SO MUCH MORE.

I'm saying this now, Lord. (and please allow my sentiments to echo the words of the song "Chasing After You" off of Tye Tribbett's new project):
"And I will go from faith to faith, from glory to glory. And I'LL FOREVER BE CHASING AFTER YOU. I'LL BE CHASING AFTER YOU. I'll never get settled. I'll always be wanting more of you Jesus."

To the people, be encouraged. God's always in control.
Philia Love,
A., Burton