a Hope AND a Future

Wow. It's really been a month since I've written on here. I need to get my game up....seriously. Being back in the United States has been pleasant. Of course, I'm glad to be back with my loves (Daddy, Mommy, and B)...and it's been a decent experience seeing my friends (old, new, and unwanted..lol). But God is still great! I think now more than ever do I appreciate the chance to just be able to go to another country for 5 months and live and learn and be pursued by God. I'm only 20, and through God's grace, I've been places that my parents haven't been and my grandparents didn't know about. I visited 8 countries within 5 months....while staying afloat with a weak US Economy and strong EU economy, and while taking classes at a French institution which contributes to me seeing that Penn State diploma on May 17, 2009. I'M BLESSED! I didn't know when I left the United States on January 1 of this year what God was going to do in little ol' me. People had spoken words over my life, etc. but just in a moment of bitter honesty, I can't say that I trusted everything that was said. I can't say that I trusted God the way I know I could have. But He has once again proven to me that I can trust Him (which is something that I am painfully aware that He simply does not have to do) and so I'm grateful.

We've had revival this week. God's been so gracious to us in this. And the more I see, the more I thank God for allowing me to have grown up in a ministry-minded household, in order for me to see and understand some of the ins and outs of ministry. Things came up and plans had to be changed but God provided and the people of God are still being blessed. Tonight is the last night and let me tell you, the Words have been so on point! (well for me...can't speak for no one else). You see, I'm at this point in my life where it's sooooo easy for me to look around and compare myself to everyone else. And beyond that, looking at others and comparing myself is what I'm good at (and that's a shame when I struggle with consistency in getting in my Word and being in God's presence). I mean...I'm trying to take a stand for Christ and live BETTER than I talk and it seems like I'm just lagging behind everyone else. My friends have boyfriends and cars and this and that....and honestly, looking at all that is driving me crazy. I told my Daddy on Monday that I'm ready to go back to Europe! (lol). But ever since I've been back, God's been hitting that issue right on the head. And it's a bit hurtful too. Daddy's been preaching a series out of Psalm 73 in which the musician Asaph was having some trouble because he was looking around and it seemed like all the wicked and evil people were prospering. Now, I'm not calling my friends wicked or evil. But people don't necessarily have to be evil for you to look around and wonder, "Lord, am I doing something wrong?". But he said when he came into the sanctuary, that's when he discovered their true end. So..that's been a real blessing. And then I heard on Tuesday night about a hope AND a future and last night about living life with an uneven hand. And what I'm understanding now is that God is telling me, "Ash, work with what you got. Things seem this way or that way. So and so is getting this and that. But I've given something to you. I've placed something in you." And as Pastor Blackmon said, it's about your attitude. If I can just get myself to the point where I can wait PATIENTLY on the Lord, I think I'll be alright. But I think that'd just be too easy. The struggle is just to remind me how much I must depend on the grace and mercy of our Savior. It reminds me how much, as Jerry Bridges puts it, the gospel is essential EVERY DAY for achieving abundant life through Jesus Christ. I must continue to preach the gospel to myself daily, realizing that it's not just the message I receive at the beginning of my salvation journey but it's the message that sustains me throughout my Christian journey. So I'm grateful for the promises of God...I'm grateful for the hope God has given me to get through the right now and the promise of a future which gives me hope for tomorrow. I'm excited because even though I'm me and God is God, He chooses to use someone as small as me to bring someone as big as himself glory. It doesn't add up. How can an imperfect thing glorify or magnify (make bigger) a perfect being? It's that perfect love and perfect power of the perfect being which transforms the imperfect thing into something fit for use. And I know He's still working on me....but He's faithful to complete the work He's already begun until the day of Jesus Christ (Philippians 1:6). That's good news!

So...tomorrow, we take my brother down to start his summer program at Hampton University. He will be beginning his freshman year there in the Fall. God's got so many great and wonderful things in store for that big-headed boy....I mean it's so amazing! I thank God for what He's doing within my family. He's bringing us closer to each other, closer to Him, and making us stronger. That is going to equal a great force within the Kingdom of God and I just pray that we can always be depended on by God to walk worthy of the calling (Ephesians 4:1).

Anyway, I suppose I should get back to work. And we're thankful to God for the summer government job!! HALLELU!!! I've been able to really learn some things since IT is not my area of expertise. But it's making me more marketable. And hopefully this time next year, if it's what God wants, I'll be preparing to start grad school in Rotterdam, Holland. If that's not what God wants, I'll be starting grad school somewhere else (lol). But pray for me....this summer is a critical time in my life and I can't afford not to be focused. God is calling me to a place and I am still in my preparation season, plus working, studying for the GREs, and being active in ministry. So many have done it before me, I know, but it's hard to give God your best when your mind is ALL over the place. So I know that He's able to keep me from falling and on that, I stand.

Sorry...this was a really long one y'all...but for THE PEOPLE, remember you've got a hope AND a future.

Philia Love,
A. Burton