Fear of the Unknown Future

For as long as I can remember, I've been afraid of what's to come next. A test, a birthday, a dance, prom, graduation, not graduating, etc. I know...not a great way to live life. I've always been such a worry wart, probably because I've always, at least subconsciously, have wanted my life to mirror a fairytale. **Ashley dear, you silly, silly girl...what's with the fairytales??** Well, with fairytales, you know that, no matter what happens in the story, at the end of the story it's all good. And, the guy gets the girl. "And they lived happily ever after." LOVELY. And I guess in some ways, I'm looking for my happily ever after with an intense fear of what I never want to happen. I look around at the lives around me, and while seeing exhibitions of grace I see exhibitions of suffering. Must life always SEEM to be moves between one trial that causes one to lean heavily on God to the next?? Where's my happily ever after that I rarely see those around me get? Am I wrong for being afraid to dream and act for fear of looking like/ ending up like everyone else?

These are some of the real questions in my mind. And while blogging this out might not change anything, it'll help me be more aware of where I am. Til then, I know that God's grace is sufficient. Therefore, I know that I can boast in my SUFFERINGS, my INSECURITIES, my FEARS for I know that in these vulnerabilities, God's strength is shown as perfect toward me.

For the People,
Ash B.