At least a girl has her dreams...

"...No one else can take your place. I've been in love before but no one has ever made me feel this way. No longer on my own, I'm never alone, because you're right here by my side [Jesus]. Lord, I'm Yours..." -"I'm Yours", Men of Standard.

This gospel song entitled "I'm Yours" encapsulates what I feel right now. You know how sometimes you just get stuck and you don't know how to make it back. You know God is loving and forgiving of you being neglectful of Him but you just....feel stuck. As I've been sitting here thinking the last couple of days, I've been daydreaming a lot. Been daydreaming about the past, the present, and what I'd like for the future. I have no idea what God has in store but I know that in my daydreams, I always end up happy. I always end up smiling and I always end up with that good feeling. Perhaps, it's because I'm getting the attention I want from the "right" people or perhaps because I'm doing something I've always longed to do; either way, the outcome is always happiness. That temporary feeling a of gratification that can be here one minute and gone the next. It brings a smile to my face and then when I come to, I realize that it was all but a dream. The smile, the fuzzy feeling, the warmth is all gone. It was made up, conjured up by my vivid imagination. Hitting reality again is sometimes the hardest part....going into the daydream knowing that it's imagined doesn't hurt nearly as bad as the trip back from the imaginitive recesses of my mind. Sometimes, though, it's easier to daydream than to live in reality, no matter how hard the fall back.

That's where the difference between joy and happiness comes into play. Happiness is temporary; joy is forever. Happiness can be taken away; joy can't be snatched. Happiness is what the world offers; joy is only what God can give. The trick is distinguishing between the two; and sometimes, I must admit, it can be quite hard. You see, happiness seems to come a lot quicker and easier than joy, at least for me. Joy is found through seeking God, something that I can't seem to get right a lot of times. Everytime I get to a place where I feel like I'm getting it, I get suckerpunched in the face and the lure of happiness creeps in. But now I'm at a point in my life when I'm realizing that I can't risk joy for happiness. His joy any day could outdo any happiness on any level. His joy is my strength. He offers this joy to me through the relationship He longs to have with me. And so now there is a moment of decision: His joy vs. my happiness. Well folks, it's a daily choice. Honestly, sometimes I pick His joy and other times I pick my happiness. But as I live and as I learn, I understand more and more that His joy has a lifetime guarantee and that in the end, it will be His joy that gives me the best life possible and the best rest possible at the end of it all.

I'm just learning to be patient and trust Him y'all. I may never get it right but He is right, He is truth and so I can firmly stand on everything He's said and everything He's promised.

"For no matter how many promises God has made, they are "Yes" in Christ. And so through Him the "Amen" (so be it) is spoken by us to the glory of God. Now it is God who makes both us and you stand firm in Christ. He anointed us, set His seal of ownership on us, and put His spirit in our hearts as a deposit, guaranteeing what is to come." --II Corinthians 1:20-22

"As the rain and the snow come down from heaven, and do not return to it without watering the earth and making it bud and flourish, so that it yields seed for the sower and bread for the eater, so is my word that goes out from my mouth: it will not return to me empty, but will accomplish what I desire and achieve the purpose for which I sent it. You will go out in JOY and be led forth in peace; the mountains and hills will burst into song in front before you, and all the trees of the field will clap their hands. Instead of thornbushes will grow the pine tree, and instead of briers myrtle will grow. This will be for the Lord's renown, for an everlasting sign, which will nto be destroyed." --Isaiah 55:10-13

For the people: CHOOSE JOY. It'll save you from a bunch of ups and downs. Trust God and His plan; He'll never renig on promises and He'll never sale you short.

Phileo Love,
Ash B.