I am a Daddy's Girl....I mean, a Daddy's girl to my heart! I love that man listed on my birth certificate as my father. We're extremely close. We talk everyday...several times aday and I doubt seriously that I'd get tired of talking to good ol' GB. He's stamped me....anyone can look at me and see that He's clearly my father. Ther older I get, the mote I appreciate his wisdome, intelligence, humor, and LOVE (among other things). I love him because he takes care of me and truly has my best interest at heart. This is the way God designed for it to be. And plenty of people have probably heard me express the sentiment that if anything ever happened to my Daddy, life would be hard to live. He's just that important to me.
And now I parallel that to God the Father. I SHOULD love Him to my heart and tell everyone my adoring sentiments towards Him. But sometimes my selfishness blocks me from loving Him as I should. He's close to me but my heart is far from Him. My lips (words) are closer to Him but I'm living for the day when my heart surpasses my words in my relationship with Him. We should talk everyday but I might skip a day...or seven. He, too, has stamped me...it's just that I can choose whether or not to display His stamp. People should be able to look at me and tell that I am His but....it doesn't quite happen that way all the time. The more mature I get, I SHOULD appreciate His WISDOM, OMNIPOTENCE, OMNIPRESENCE, LOVE, etc. but the problem is that I'm more comfortable being at a standstill in the maturation process. And without Him, there'd be no life, PERIOD. So even though, naturally, I'm a daddy's girl, I'm striving to be a Daddy's girl. I'm striving to be more like The Father (God) everday. Just as with my natural daddy, I'm striving to make Him proud. I'm striving to move beyond "father" because that doesn't denote relationship. "Daddy" screams relationship. And because that's what HE desires more than anything, it draws me to desire it for myself. I just want to be a DADDY'S GIRL.
For the people.
Ash B.
Tuesday, July 1, 2008
Tuesday, June 24, 2008
Faithful is Our God!
So...we took Brandon down to Hampton this weekend because he's in this 5 week Pre-College Prep Program. He's settled in and having a good time, thank the Lord. It's not that he wouldn't it's just hard to explain how we were feeling.
Brandon is like everyone's baby. He's the child that everyone expects to stay in high school for the rest of his life. Not saying that he's a bad student or anything to that extent but you just never expect him to grow up, and not this fast. I must confess, i was extremely worried about B going to college. He's not the most responsible and tends to forget things. I'm guessing that's typical 18 year old boy behavior. My mother was getting extremely frustrated with Hampton because of the lack of clarity and therefore the abundance of confusion. We even thought about checking out one of the branch campuses of Penn State for him. Well, Friday rolled in and we had to take him down. We got down there, checked him in, and went to find his dorm. Great. Smooth sailing. His dorm isn't the best but that's not what this entry is about so I'll spare the gory details. We went to a mandatory meeting, went out to dinner, etc. He stayed with us the first night. Saturday was pretty similar but I really don't feel like bustin' out all those details. SO on to Sunday. Brandon's dorm director is a man named Elder Raymond Cullen. When Mommy and I first met him on that Friday night, we were waiting for Brandon to come downstairs so we talked to him for a few minutes. He was a nice guy. Brandon went to church with him on Sunday under strict instructions from my father. After church, he comes over to talk to me and my parents. Wow! Let me tell you how God hooked this thing up! God set my brother up with someone who has a kindred spirit with my family and is reminiscent of my father. God knew that would be something Brandon would need. Elder Cullen spoke highly of the way Brandon spoke about us, telling us it was definitely not the norm. He also spoke highly of how my parents raised us. He looked at me and said that God had something big in store for both Brandon and I BUT this came with a Word of warning. He told us that testing time is coming and specifically for Brandon, that God was going to do a precision incision. He said that Brandon would bleed but in the end, he would thank God for the blood (in both senses). He told us to get ready and not to blame everything on the devil. When Jesus went into the wilderness, He was led by the Spirit into a time of testing. The same thing goes for us. God will sometimes lead us into a time of testing and allow us to be in wilderness situations. That thing blessed my soul! And he was really able to just pour into my father as the man of our house and as a pastor. He was such a blessing and a God-send. So my family was able leave there reassured that God was completely in control and that he knows exactly what he was doing. God is indeed faithful!
Instances like this always call me from fact to truth and cause me to realize God's truth over man's facts anyday. I thank God that He remains in control, no matter what things look like. And i thank Him even more than He chooses to show us that He's still in control
Brandon is like everyone's baby. He's the child that everyone expects to stay in high school for the rest of his life. Not saying that he's a bad student or anything to that extent but you just never expect him to grow up, and not this fast. I must confess, i was extremely worried about B going to college. He's not the most responsible and tends to forget things. I'm guessing that's typical 18 year old boy behavior. My mother was getting extremely frustrated with Hampton because of the lack of clarity and therefore the abundance of confusion. We even thought about checking out one of the branch campuses of Penn State for him. Well, Friday rolled in and we had to take him down. We got down there, checked him in, and went to find his dorm. Great. Smooth sailing. His dorm isn't the best but that's not what this entry is about so I'll spare the gory details. We went to a mandatory meeting, went out to dinner, etc. He stayed with us the first night. Saturday was pretty similar but I really don't feel like bustin' out all those details. SO on to Sunday. Brandon's dorm director is a man named Elder Raymond Cullen. When Mommy and I first met him on that Friday night, we were waiting for Brandon to come downstairs so we talked to him for a few minutes. He was a nice guy. Brandon went to church with him on Sunday under strict instructions from my father. After church, he comes over to talk to me and my parents. Wow! Let me tell you how God hooked this thing up! God set my brother up with someone who has a kindred spirit with my family and is reminiscent of my father. God knew that would be something Brandon would need. Elder Cullen spoke highly of the way Brandon spoke about us, telling us it was definitely not the norm. He also spoke highly of how my parents raised us. He looked at me and said that God had something big in store for both Brandon and I BUT this came with a Word of warning. He told us that testing time is coming and specifically for Brandon, that God was going to do a precision incision. He said that Brandon would bleed but in the end, he would thank God for the blood (in both senses). He told us to get ready and not to blame everything on the devil. When Jesus went into the wilderness, He was led by the Spirit into a time of testing. The same thing goes for us. God will sometimes lead us into a time of testing and allow us to be in wilderness situations. That thing blessed my soul! And he was really able to just pour into my father as the man of our house and as a pastor. He was such a blessing and a God-send. So my family was able leave there reassured that God was completely in control and that he knows exactly what he was doing. God is indeed faithful!
Instances like this always call me from fact to truth and cause me to realize God's truth over man's facts anyday. I thank God that He remains in control, no matter what things look like. And i thank Him even more than He chooses to show us that He's still in control
Rebel Is Me
Standard...
no one knows the meaning of that word anymore
and while we walk around singing riffs off Tye's cd
and trying to impress whoever we see,
fashionably,
we fail to realize that many of us
are cat-walking straight to hell.
We live anyway, we give anything
we refuse to live the standard
and adjust ours to meet HIS.
So I'm saying this now...Rebel is Me.
I refuse to live life without a cause,
satisfying my flesh with faulty solutions,
apathetic to the Savior and my daily crucifixion of Him through my life.
I refuse to give my body to any man before God has sanctioned it,
to allow someone to be that deep into me,
that we both deeply drag our souls through the mire of sin.
I refuse to let my words bring shame to His name.
I acknowledge that He created me so intelligently
that I can express myself better than throwing expletives around.
I refuse to pollute my body
because really, who wants used goods?
And after all the abuse, what good could it do?
I refuse
to let anyone bully me into believing that I'm too radical or hype
none of them saved my life
with a promise of a hope and a future bright.
A rebel saved me,
his cause gave me a cause
and now I'm a rebel
because I not only shun the norms, I live above them.
Want to know what a rebel is, watch Him.
Want to learn how to be a rebel, learn with me.
And though I'm not what I shall be,
I claim rebel is me
because He's constantly perfecting that thing in me.
Til He comes back and my cause is won,
my hands are weary, and my body worn
but my heart will be perfect and my spirit incorruptible.
The feeling on that day--insurmountable.
"I will give him the honors of a victorious soldier, because He exposed Himself to death. He was counted among the rebels. He bore the sins of many and interceded for rebels." --Isaiah 53:12 (NLT)
For the People.
Ash B.
no one knows the meaning of that word anymore
and while we walk around singing riffs off Tye's cd
and trying to impress whoever we see,
fashionably,
we fail to realize that many of us
are cat-walking straight to hell.
We live anyway, we give anything
we refuse to live the standard
and adjust ours to meet HIS.
So I'm saying this now...Rebel is Me.
I refuse to live life without a cause,
satisfying my flesh with faulty solutions,
apathetic to the Savior and my daily crucifixion of Him through my life.
I refuse to give my body to any man before God has sanctioned it,
to allow someone to be that deep into me,
that we both deeply drag our souls through the mire of sin.
I refuse to let my words bring shame to His name.
I acknowledge that He created me so intelligently
that I can express myself better than throwing expletives around.
I refuse to pollute my body
because really, who wants used goods?
And after all the abuse, what good could it do?
I refuse
to let anyone bully me into believing that I'm too radical or hype
none of them saved my life
with a promise of a hope and a future bright.
A rebel saved me,
his cause gave me a cause
and now I'm a rebel
because I not only shun the norms, I live above them.
Want to know what a rebel is, watch Him.
Want to learn how to be a rebel, learn with me.
And though I'm not what I shall be,
I claim rebel is me
because He's constantly perfecting that thing in me.
Til He comes back and my cause is won,
my hands are weary, and my body worn
but my heart will be perfect and my spirit incorruptible.
The feeling on that day--insurmountable.
"I will give him the honors of a victorious soldier, because He exposed Himself to death. He was counted among the rebels. He bore the sins of many and interceded for rebels." --Isaiah 53:12 (NLT)
For the People.
Ash B.
Trailblazer
May He be glorified.
Trailblazer
"Make straight the path of the Lord,"
he cried.
It was a voice from the wilderness,
a man of tenderness
yet labeled rough by the circumstances around him.
To realize
through his eyes
that he was blazing the trail for the PRIZE
from the heavenly skies,
he did it with pride.
And there's no way that you could convince me otherwise
that John the Baptist's occupation is where
God is calling me to be.
You see
God has been beckoning us to be
oxymoronic purposely
to be in the world not of it
to stand out in this generation not above it
to be accountable not standing and asking "Whodunit?"
to shine like stars and be tasty like salt
to disregard the sin and surrender to Him our faults
to be cunning as a snake and humble as a dove
showing this world what it means to love Love
showing this world that Love loves on them
and not just sit in a church and learn your favorite hymn.
Hymns don't win souls and neither do church members
He's calling for, He's looking for
someone DIFFERENT
creating impact,
not dodging contact,
but facing the facts,
and accepting the truth.
In a day and time when everyone cries unique
everything looks the same to me, the prospect is bleak.
Unique is opening up your mouth
to cast away the cynic's doubts,
but even more than that
Unique is opening up your life
to let the Savior's light blaze bright.
The commitment is life or death,
get your heart ready and make sure your mind is set
because being a trailblazer is more than signing up for a committee
being a trailblazer is giving your life
for THE CAUSE.
2008 A. Burton
Lord, make me a TRAILBLAZER for your Kingdom on Earth so that I might get to Your Kingdom in Heaven. For the people.
Philia Love,
Ash B.
Trailblazer
"Make straight the path of the Lord,"
he cried.
It was a voice from the wilderness,
a man of tenderness
yet labeled rough by the circumstances around him.
To realize
through his eyes
that he was blazing the trail for the PRIZE
from the heavenly skies,
he did it with pride.
And there's no way that you could convince me otherwise
that John the Baptist's occupation is where
God is calling me to be.
You see
God has been beckoning us to be
oxymoronic purposely
to be in the world not of it
to stand out in this generation not above it
to be accountable not standing and asking "Whodunit?"
to shine like stars and be tasty like salt
to disregard the sin and surrender to Him our faults
to be cunning as a snake and humble as a dove
showing this world what it means to love Love
showing this world that Love loves on them
and not just sit in a church and learn your favorite hymn.
Hymns don't win souls and neither do church members
He's calling for, He's looking for
someone DIFFERENT
creating impact,
not dodging contact,
but facing the facts,
and accepting the truth.
In a day and time when everyone cries unique
everything looks the same to me, the prospect is bleak.
Unique is opening up your mouth
to cast away the cynic's doubts,
but even more than that
Unique is opening up your life
to let the Savior's light blaze bright.
The commitment is life or death,
get your heart ready and make sure your mind is set
because being a trailblazer is more than signing up for a committee
being a trailblazer is giving your life
for THE CAUSE.
2008 A. Burton
Lord, make me a TRAILBLAZER for your Kingdom on Earth so that I might get to Your Kingdom in Heaven. For the people.
Philia Love,
Ash B.
Thursday, June 19, 2008
a Hope AND a Future
Wow. It's really been a month since I've written on here. I need to get my game up....seriously. Being back in the United States has been pleasant. Of course, I'm glad to be back with my loves (Daddy, Mommy, and B)...and it's been a decent experience seeing my friends (old, new, and unwanted..lol). But God is still great! I think now more than ever do I appreciate the chance to just be able to go to another country for 5 months and live and learn and be pursued by God. I'm only 20, and through God's grace, I've been places that my parents haven't been and my grandparents didn't know about. I visited 8 countries within 5 months....while staying afloat with a weak US Economy and strong EU economy, and while taking classes at a French institution which contributes to me seeing that Penn State diploma on May 17, 2009. I'M BLESSED! I didn't know when I left the United States on January 1 of this year what God was going to do in little ol' me. People had spoken words over my life, etc. but just in a moment of bitter honesty, I can't say that I trusted everything that was said. I can't say that I trusted God the way I know I could have. But He has once again proven to me that I can trust Him (which is something that I am painfully aware that He simply does not have to do) and so I'm grateful.
We've had revival this week. God's been so gracious to us in this. And the more I see, the more I thank God for allowing me to have grown up in a ministry-minded household, in order for me to see and understand some of the ins and outs of ministry. Things came up and plans had to be changed but God provided and the people of God are still being blessed. Tonight is the last night and let me tell you, the Words have been so on point! (well for me...can't speak for no one else). You see, I'm at this point in my life where it's sooooo easy for me to look around and compare myself to everyone else. And beyond that, looking at others and comparing myself is what I'm good at (and that's a shame when I struggle with consistency in getting in my Word and being in God's presence). I mean...I'm trying to take a stand for Christ and live BETTER than I talk and it seems like I'm just lagging behind everyone else. My friends have boyfriends and cars and this and that....and honestly, looking at all that is driving me crazy. I told my Daddy on Monday that I'm ready to go back to Europe! (lol). But ever since I've been back, God's been hitting that issue right on the head. And it's a bit hurtful too. Daddy's been preaching a series out of Psalm 73 in which the musician Asaph was having some trouble because he was looking around and it seemed like all the wicked and evil people were prospering. Now, I'm not calling my friends wicked or evil. But people don't necessarily have to be evil for you to look around and wonder, "Lord, am I doing something wrong?". But he said when he came into the sanctuary, that's when he discovered their true end. So..that's been a real blessing. And then I heard on Tuesday night about a hope AND a future and last night about living life with an uneven hand. And what I'm understanding now is that God is telling me, "Ash, work with what you got. Things seem this way or that way. So and so is getting this and that. But I've given something to you. I've placed something in you." And as Pastor Blackmon said, it's about your attitude. If I can just get myself to the point where I can wait PATIENTLY on the Lord, I think I'll be alright. But I think that'd just be too easy. The struggle is just to remind me how much I must depend on the grace and mercy of our Savior. It reminds me how much, as Jerry Bridges puts it, the gospel is essential EVERY DAY for achieving abundant life through Jesus Christ. I must continue to preach the gospel to myself daily, realizing that it's not just the message I receive at the beginning of my salvation journey but it's the message that sustains me throughout my Christian journey. So I'm grateful for the promises of God...I'm grateful for the hope God has given me to get through the right now and the promise of a future which gives me hope for tomorrow. I'm excited because even though I'm me and God is God, He chooses to use someone as small as me to bring someone as big as himself glory. It doesn't add up. How can an imperfect thing glorify or magnify (make bigger) a perfect being? It's that perfect love and perfect power of the perfect being which transforms the imperfect thing into something fit for use. And I know He's still working on me....but He's faithful to complete the work He's already begun until the day of Jesus Christ (Philippians 1:6). That's good news!
So...tomorrow, we take my brother down to start his summer program at Hampton University. He will be beginning his freshman year there in the Fall. God's got so many great and wonderful things in store for that big-headed boy....I mean it's so amazing! I thank God for what He's doing within my family. He's bringing us closer to each other, closer to Him, and making us stronger. That is going to equal a great force within the Kingdom of God and I just pray that we can always be depended on by God to walk worthy of the calling (Ephesians 4:1).
Anyway, I suppose I should get back to work. And we're thankful to God for the summer government job!! HALLELU!!! I've been able to really learn some things since IT is not my area of expertise. But it's making me more marketable. And hopefully this time next year, if it's what God wants, I'll be preparing to start grad school in Rotterdam, Holland. If that's not what God wants, I'll be starting grad school somewhere else (lol). But pray for me....this summer is a critical time in my life and I can't afford not to be focused. God is calling me to a place and I am still in my preparation season, plus working, studying for the GREs, and being active in ministry. So many have done it before me, I know, but it's hard to give God your best when your mind is ALL over the place. So I know that He's able to keep me from falling and on that, I stand.
Sorry...this was a really long one y'all...but for THE PEOPLE, remember you've got a hope AND a future.
Philia Love,
A. Burton
We've had revival this week. God's been so gracious to us in this. And the more I see, the more I thank God for allowing me to have grown up in a ministry-minded household, in order for me to see and understand some of the ins and outs of ministry. Things came up and plans had to be changed but God provided and the people of God are still being blessed. Tonight is the last night and let me tell you, the Words have been so on point! (well for me...can't speak for no one else). You see, I'm at this point in my life where it's sooooo easy for me to look around and compare myself to everyone else. And beyond that, looking at others and comparing myself is what I'm good at (and that's a shame when I struggle with consistency in getting in my Word and being in God's presence). I mean...I'm trying to take a stand for Christ and live BETTER than I talk and it seems like I'm just lagging behind everyone else. My friends have boyfriends and cars and this and that....and honestly, looking at all that is driving me crazy. I told my Daddy on Monday that I'm ready to go back to Europe! (lol). But ever since I've been back, God's been hitting that issue right on the head. And it's a bit hurtful too. Daddy's been preaching a series out of Psalm 73 in which the musician Asaph was having some trouble because he was looking around and it seemed like all the wicked and evil people were prospering. Now, I'm not calling my friends wicked or evil. But people don't necessarily have to be evil for you to look around and wonder, "Lord, am I doing something wrong?". But he said when he came into the sanctuary, that's when he discovered their true end. So..that's been a real blessing. And then I heard on Tuesday night about a hope AND a future and last night about living life with an uneven hand. And what I'm understanding now is that God is telling me, "Ash, work with what you got. Things seem this way or that way. So and so is getting this and that. But I've given something to you. I've placed something in you." And as Pastor Blackmon said, it's about your attitude. If I can just get myself to the point where I can wait PATIENTLY on the Lord, I think I'll be alright. But I think that'd just be too easy. The struggle is just to remind me how much I must depend on the grace and mercy of our Savior. It reminds me how much, as Jerry Bridges puts it, the gospel is essential EVERY DAY for achieving abundant life through Jesus Christ. I must continue to preach the gospel to myself daily, realizing that it's not just the message I receive at the beginning of my salvation journey but it's the message that sustains me throughout my Christian journey. So I'm grateful for the promises of God...I'm grateful for the hope God has given me to get through the right now and the promise of a future which gives me hope for tomorrow. I'm excited because even though I'm me and God is God, He chooses to use someone as small as me to bring someone as big as himself glory. It doesn't add up. How can an imperfect thing glorify or magnify (make bigger) a perfect being? It's that perfect love and perfect power of the perfect being which transforms the imperfect thing into something fit for use. And I know He's still working on me....but He's faithful to complete the work He's already begun until the day of Jesus Christ (Philippians 1:6). That's good news!
So...tomorrow, we take my brother down to start his summer program at Hampton University. He will be beginning his freshman year there in the Fall. God's got so many great and wonderful things in store for that big-headed boy....I mean it's so amazing! I thank God for what He's doing within my family. He's bringing us closer to each other, closer to Him, and making us stronger. That is going to equal a great force within the Kingdom of God and I just pray that we can always be depended on by God to walk worthy of the calling (Ephesians 4:1).
Anyway, I suppose I should get back to work. And we're thankful to God for the summer government job!! HALLELU!!! I've been able to really learn some things since IT is not my area of expertise. But it's making me more marketable. And hopefully this time next year, if it's what God wants, I'll be preparing to start grad school in Rotterdam, Holland. If that's not what God wants, I'll be starting grad school somewhere else (lol). But pray for me....this summer is a critical time in my life and I can't afford not to be focused. God is calling me to a place and I am still in my preparation season, plus working, studying for the GREs, and being active in ministry. So many have done it before me, I know, but it's hard to give God your best when your mind is ALL over the place. So I know that He's able to keep me from falling and on that, I stand.
Sorry...this was a really long one y'all...but for THE PEOPLE, remember you've got a hope AND a future.
Philia Love,
A. Burton
Sunday, May 18, 2008
I'll Forever Be Chasing After You, Jesus!
I don't have much to say at this point, people....
I leave France for good in two weeks and God is teaching lessons up until the bitter end. One thing that is overwhelmingly clear to me at this point in life: I'm so so so wretched. Like for real. It's disgusting. I can't be consistent in anything, I'm constantly changing my mind about things, I know I'm not where God is calling me to be yet, and I'm still struggling with some of the same things that I've been struggling with for the longest time. By all human standards, I am a failure. I am a wretch. I totally agree with the Apostle Paul in Romans 7:24, "What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body of death?" However, the longer I live the more I come to value the of the grace and mercy that God extends to us each and everyday. It is BEYOND COMPARE....there's no use in us trying to appraise it. If I were in God's position, I know I would have given up on me a long time ago and just completely let myself die somewhere. But He continues to beckon me unto Himself as verse 25 goes on to say, "Thanks be to God--through Jesus Christ our Lord!"
I'm supposed to be surprising my brother this week for his graduation by coming home and I do have my ticket to be on the plane. The problem comes with me getting to the airport on time. There is a real possibility that I won't make it. And I've been hoping and praying and slightly worrying about it. But what I've just had to resolve myself to is that no matter what happens, God is still in control and whatever happens, it's all in his hands. I don't deserve favor! I don't deserve for God to do anything out of the ordinary for me! Who am I but I mere mortal?? But I'm glad that when God looks at me, He sees so much more than that! He sees what I shall be...He sees the glory that He shall get out of my life once I get it together! And for that alone, I should be motivated enough to continue to chase after Him. To desire Him more and more each day! To know Him in a very real way.
So, as has been the recurring theme in most of my blogs, I will continue to strive towards the prize. I will fall and falter sometimes but I owe it to God to keep pressing on. Something me and my Daddy tell my brother when he has one of those selfish moments is "You may not care about me or yourself. But at least do better for your mother because she supports you through everything and loves you just the same." So, now I find myself swallowing hard my words but it's not to do better for my mother. She loves me and wants me to evolve into what God desires for me to be but when it's all said and done, that's not enough. I should want to do better simply because GOD has always been there for me and has loved me with AN EVERLASTING LOVE through my whole life. And He deserves so much more. SO MUCH MORE.
I'm saying this now, Lord. (and please allow my sentiments to echo the words of the song "Chasing After You" off of Tye Tribbett's new project):
"And I will go from faith to faith, from glory to glory. And I'LL FOREVER BE CHASING AFTER YOU. I'LL BE CHASING AFTER YOU. I'll never get settled. I'll always be wanting more of you Jesus."
To the people, be encouraged. God's always in control.
Philia Love,
A., Burton
I leave France for good in two weeks and God is teaching lessons up until the bitter end. One thing that is overwhelmingly clear to me at this point in life: I'm so so so wretched. Like for real. It's disgusting. I can't be consistent in anything, I'm constantly changing my mind about things, I know I'm not where God is calling me to be yet, and I'm still struggling with some of the same things that I've been struggling with for the longest time. By all human standards, I am a failure. I am a wretch. I totally agree with the Apostle Paul in Romans 7:24, "What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body of death?" However, the longer I live the more I come to value the of the grace and mercy that God extends to us each and everyday. It is BEYOND COMPARE....there's no use in us trying to appraise it. If I were in God's position, I know I would have given up on me a long time ago and just completely let myself die somewhere. But He continues to beckon me unto Himself as verse 25 goes on to say, "Thanks be to God--through Jesus Christ our Lord!"
I'm supposed to be surprising my brother this week for his graduation by coming home and I do have my ticket to be on the plane. The problem comes with me getting to the airport on time. There is a real possibility that I won't make it. And I've been hoping and praying and slightly worrying about it. But what I've just had to resolve myself to is that no matter what happens, God is still in control and whatever happens, it's all in his hands. I don't deserve favor! I don't deserve for God to do anything out of the ordinary for me! Who am I but I mere mortal?? But I'm glad that when God looks at me, He sees so much more than that! He sees what I shall be...He sees the glory that He shall get out of my life once I get it together! And for that alone, I should be motivated enough to continue to chase after Him. To desire Him more and more each day! To know Him in a very real way.
So, as has been the recurring theme in most of my blogs, I will continue to strive towards the prize. I will fall and falter sometimes but I owe it to God to keep pressing on. Something me and my Daddy tell my brother when he has one of those selfish moments is "You may not care about me or yourself. But at least do better for your mother because she supports you through everything and loves you just the same." So, now I find myself swallowing hard my words but it's not to do better for my mother. She loves me and wants me to evolve into what God desires for me to be but when it's all said and done, that's not enough. I should want to do better simply because GOD has always been there for me and has loved me with AN EVERLASTING LOVE through my whole life. And He deserves so much more. SO MUCH MORE.
I'm saying this now, Lord. (and please allow my sentiments to echo the words of the song "Chasing After You" off of Tye Tribbett's new project):
"And I will go from faith to faith, from glory to glory. And I'LL FOREVER BE CHASING AFTER YOU. I'LL BE CHASING AFTER YOU. I'll never get settled. I'll always be wanting more of you Jesus."
To the people, be encouraged. God's always in control.
Philia Love,
A., Burton
Wednesday, April 30, 2008
Trusting You, Lord!!
You know, sometimes God just has to remind us that He's Lord. Lord over our happy times, Lord over our sad times, Lord over our WHOLE lives (that's if we actually let Him do what He does best).
Lord (n.)-a person who has authority, control, or power over others
I can't remember how many times I've been in church singing that song, "He is Lord". You know the words...He is Lord, He has risen from the dead and He is Lord. I was singing it with no power, no conviction, no nothing. I even had the nerve to complain about us singing it too often. "I'm tired of this song."--haha...thank God for maturity! But I guess I never fully grasped the complete meaning of the words. Everytime I say, "Thank You, Lord", I'm not just expressing my gratitude. I'm reaffirming the fact that I acknowledge God's authority, control, and power over my life. With that being said, I think we should never take for granted what we call our God and King. Each name means something and each name glorifies God in a different way. With that being said, on to the real part of the blog....
So, today I really thought I was going to hurt somebody in France. Like...France has been a great experience and all but the ruckus that this school puts the international students through is so ridiculous (like for real). Needless to say, God also used being over here to give me a greater appreciation for Penn State. So to Dear Ol' State, I salute you. Anyway, I was planning this big surprise for the end of this month! I mean...I was going the juggler. I wanted the reaction be tears, screaming, yelling....all THAT! I mean...it was really going to be a nice surprise. Well...I get to my lovely Oral Expression class today (and I have to say....I loved my teacher!! She's so good and great) and I find out that my final exam is on May 22. WHAT?!?!?!?!? First of all, why such a random, random day of the week? Second of all, that's not fair because that's not during finals week and they're just telling us now (I'm telling you, you've GOT to love that French organization stuff). Third of all, that's the day of my big surprise! I mean...we spent money on this surprise and now that's in jeopardy...oh no. I can't take that as my final answer. I talk to my teacher and tell her my situation and she tells me that she doesn't think it will be a problem to get them to reschedule it for me. So she tells me to go speak to the head of the department. I go and talk to her and she tells me that it's not her decision and that she would have to talk to the International Office. She tells me that it's a real possibility that they will say no but she will ask and then email me the answer. Not even an hour later, I get an email saying that the answer was no. I wanted to cry....I think maybe 4 or 5 tears fell and then I could cry no more. I wanted to be extremely upset but I couldn't get my blood to boil like I could so easily do in times past. What in the world was going on with me?!? As I was explaining my situation to my friends, I could hear how relatively calm I was and it was scary. What was going on inside of me? Was it that I wasn't that upset? NO...it couldn't have been that. This surprise was way too big for me to just brush not being able to do it off. Did I think that I was somehow being punked and that Ashton Kutcher was going to pop out from behind one of these trees with a French camera crew?? NO....highly unlikely. What was it?!?! I was calling my parents and I couldn't get in contact with them for almost 3 hours. I think that made me more upset than the situation itself. As I told my dad, I could hear the disappointment creep into his voice but as always, he told me to do what I had to do. As I was on the phone explaining it to my mom, i think about 3 tears fell and my voice cracked but then i could show no more visible emotion. I mean, inside i was definitely hurting. MY PLANS WERE BEING INTERRUPTED. But at this point that wasn't the main thing bothering me. The main thing bothering me was my calm through this whole situation. I sat down and started thinking and then it dawned on me: it was the peace of God. Now, strangely enough I didn't recognize that feeling because I don't let it rest in my life that often. My usual response is to freak out and throw a fit, get stressed and eat. But today, I was just chillin'. I couldn't even walk around looking somber (even though on the inside, I felt like crap). God had given me a certain peace about the situation. It was then that I realized that so many times we just rely on God for the big things that require faith but forget about everyday, little details. I was so busy trusting God with the seemingly huge issues in life and i totally forgot to trust Him with the things that already to seem to be worked out. Because as we all know, situations can and will change up on you. But as my mom told me, "If it's God's Will for you to be there, you will be there." So, what I'm going to do, saints of God, is to continue to trust God. The lady that we're trying to petition is known to be a hard person to deal with. My mother emailed the lady in the International Office and so we're hoping for different results but even if she still tells us "no", I know I can trust that God knows what's best and that He has a purpose for everything He allows. And it's not even like this surprise thing was bad...it really was one of the most self-less things I could do. But even in this, God chooses to allow me to see that He is Lord and that He has control. So, I'm evicting myself and giving Him His place back. We're praying for favor with her but even if God does not allow us to obtain the woman's favor, that doesn't mean we're any less favored by Him. It's all apart of His plan and I'm learning how to trust that thing so great and strong!
So I trust You, Lord. I acknowledge that you the Only One who has authority, control, and power over me, my life and my circumstances.
Luke 1:48-55 (The Message Version)
46-55And Mary said, I'm bursting with God-news; I'm dancing the song of my Savior God. God took one good look at me, and look what happened—I'm the most fortunate woman on earth! What God has done for me will never be forgotten, the God whose very name is holy, set apart from all others. His mercy flows in wave after wave on those who are in awe before him. He bared his arm and showed his strength, scattered the bluffing braggarts. He knocked tyrants off their high horses, pulled victims out of the mud. The starving poor sat down to a banquet; the callous rich were left out in the cold. He embraced his chosen child, Israel; he remembered and piled on the mercies, piled them high. It's exactly what he promised, beginning with Abraham and right up to now.
To the People: Make Him Lord. Trust Him.
In His Favor and Under His Lordship,
Ash B.
Lord (n.)-a person who has authority, control, or power over others
I can't remember how many times I've been in church singing that song, "He is Lord". You know the words...He is Lord, He has risen from the dead and He is Lord. I was singing it with no power, no conviction, no nothing. I even had the nerve to complain about us singing it too often. "I'm tired of this song."--haha...thank God for maturity! But I guess I never fully grasped the complete meaning of the words. Everytime I say, "Thank You, Lord", I'm not just expressing my gratitude. I'm reaffirming the fact that I acknowledge God's authority, control, and power over my life. With that being said, I think we should never take for granted what we call our God and King. Each name means something and each name glorifies God in a different way. With that being said, on to the real part of the blog....
So, today I really thought I was going to hurt somebody in France. Like...France has been a great experience and all but the ruckus that this school puts the international students through is so ridiculous (like for real). Needless to say, God also used being over here to give me a greater appreciation for Penn State. So to Dear Ol' State, I salute you. Anyway, I was planning this big surprise for the end of this month! I mean...I was going the juggler. I wanted the reaction be tears, screaming, yelling....all THAT! I mean...it was really going to be a nice surprise. Well...I get to my lovely Oral Expression class today (and I have to say....I loved my teacher!! She's so good and great) and I find out that my final exam is on May 22. WHAT?!?!?!?!? First of all, why such a random, random day of the week? Second of all, that's not fair because that's not during finals week and they're just telling us now (I'm telling you, you've GOT to love that French organization stuff). Third of all, that's the day of my big surprise! I mean...we spent money on this surprise and now that's in jeopardy...oh no. I can't take that as my final answer. I talk to my teacher and tell her my situation and she tells me that she doesn't think it will be a problem to get them to reschedule it for me. So she tells me to go speak to the head of the department. I go and talk to her and she tells me that it's not her decision and that she would have to talk to the International Office. She tells me that it's a real possibility that they will say no but she will ask and then email me the answer. Not even an hour later, I get an email saying that the answer was no. I wanted to cry....I think maybe 4 or 5 tears fell and then I could cry no more. I wanted to be extremely upset but I couldn't get my blood to boil like I could so easily do in times past. What in the world was going on with me?!? As I was explaining my situation to my friends, I could hear how relatively calm I was and it was scary. What was going on inside of me? Was it that I wasn't that upset? NO...it couldn't have been that. This surprise was way too big for me to just brush not being able to do it off. Did I think that I was somehow being punked and that Ashton Kutcher was going to pop out from behind one of these trees with a French camera crew?? NO....highly unlikely. What was it?!?! I was calling my parents and I couldn't get in contact with them for almost 3 hours. I think that made me more upset than the situation itself. As I told my dad, I could hear the disappointment creep into his voice but as always, he told me to do what I had to do. As I was on the phone explaining it to my mom, i think about 3 tears fell and my voice cracked but then i could show no more visible emotion. I mean, inside i was definitely hurting. MY PLANS WERE BEING INTERRUPTED. But at this point that wasn't the main thing bothering me. The main thing bothering me was my calm through this whole situation. I sat down and started thinking and then it dawned on me: it was the peace of God. Now, strangely enough I didn't recognize that feeling because I don't let it rest in my life that often. My usual response is to freak out and throw a fit, get stressed and eat. But today, I was just chillin'. I couldn't even walk around looking somber (even though on the inside, I felt like crap). God had given me a certain peace about the situation. It was then that I realized that so many times we just rely on God for the big things that require faith but forget about everyday, little details. I was so busy trusting God with the seemingly huge issues in life and i totally forgot to trust Him with the things that already to seem to be worked out. Because as we all know, situations can and will change up on you. But as my mom told me, "If it's God's Will for you to be there, you will be there." So, what I'm going to do, saints of God, is to continue to trust God. The lady that we're trying to petition is known to be a hard person to deal with. My mother emailed the lady in the International Office and so we're hoping for different results but even if she still tells us "no", I know I can trust that God knows what's best and that He has a purpose for everything He allows. And it's not even like this surprise thing was bad...it really was one of the most self-less things I could do. But even in this, God chooses to allow me to see that He is Lord and that He has control. So, I'm evicting myself and giving Him His place back. We're praying for favor with her but even if God does not allow us to obtain the woman's favor, that doesn't mean we're any less favored by Him. It's all apart of His plan and I'm learning how to trust that thing so great and strong!
So I trust You, Lord. I acknowledge that you the Only One who has authority, control, and power over me, my life and my circumstances.
Luke 1:48-55 (The Message Version)
46-55And Mary said, I'm bursting with God-news; I'm dancing the song of my Savior God. God took one good look at me, and look what happened—I'm the most fortunate woman on earth! What God has done for me will never be forgotten, the God whose very name is holy, set apart from all others. His mercy flows in wave after wave on those who are in awe before him. He bared his arm and showed his strength, scattered the bluffing braggarts. He knocked tyrants off their high horses, pulled victims out of the mud. The starving poor sat down to a banquet; the callous rich were left out in the cold. He embraced his chosen child, Israel; he remembered and piled on the mercies, piled them high. It's exactly what he promised, beginning with Abraham and right up to now.
To the People: Make Him Lord. Trust Him.
In His Favor and Under His Lordship,
Ash B.
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